i messed with all my in-game settings and it just keeps going back up to 65 even when ive seen it drop to 40

If the in-game settings don't display 60FPS as an option to choose, try setting your monitor refresh rate to 60Hz. That should make 60FPS option available in the in-game settings.

Otherwise you can just try to force the cap with external programs or with the video card control panel.

In case the solutions above don't work, I recommend joining the server and ask there for tech support, the game FPS can be really weird depending on the monitor settings.

It took me 4 days just to realize I've read the title wrong.

So to correct myself, my previous message stands if you want only 30 and 60 FPS options, but if your FPS don't change despite you switching them in the options, it is likely to be you forgot Vsync active, so switch that off and when you apply the FPS changes they should stay the way you set them.

If that doesn't work, I renew the suggestion to join the server because it might be hardware related(?)