Do not name yourself anything, simply confirm without typing.

Start the timer after confirming your name.

Walk up to Balloony and mash Shift+Space to skip the text as fast as possible (It may be awkward to mash with only one hand, I suggest using a hand for each key and switching to normal positions after skipping all the text).

When in "battle", move to the top left corner until he hits you with the first bottle, mashing Space at the same time to skip the text. The following bottles usually hit once then miss due to invicibility frames, but moving down after being hit once may lead to being hit twice. He will keep throwing bottles until you're at 1 HP, so you need to be hit 3 times. Move down and to the right when the screen starts fading to white.

You should now be in the hospital. Walk through the hospital like normal and skip any text as fast as possible. Be sure to take the shortest route possible, you should find no encounters if you go through reasonably fast.

Once you reach the dummy room walk to the dummy like normal and fight it. Be sure to do 5 damage or you will have to hit it again.

The first number lock's code is 4-2-7.

Skip Zepheniah by attacking. (Damage doesnt matter, simply mash space)

The next number lock's code is 2-8-4-5.

You should now have reached Sani, skip text and enter his "house". Go to left and talk to Sani once, then walk to the target. Wait for the cutscene to play out and skip ALL the text, the first option you choose does not matter, you will need to talk to Sani and choose "I want to go" afterwards regardless.

Follow Sani and fight him. Kill Sani, you can fail one attack (Only if you do at least 3 damage) without losing time, but anymore will require you to attack for a extra turn. Dodge the bonesaws by going up. Once one of them moves move down and then to the second saw's opposite top corner. Dodge the syringes by going to the opposite side and avoiding them like normal.

Do not walk up or down in the forest, the bridge gap is rather finicky and you may get stuck. Skip text, walk around.

You will get an encounter eventually, always flee. (They will follow you, but fleeing is still overall faster than hiring or killing, and you can still get encounters afterwards)

Once you reach Mundy, do the maze as normal, the solution is very easy to reach. A trick to avoid the orange attacks is to hold right and mash left. (Moving left overrides moving right, but the opposite is not true) Once you're done you may want to save if you're hurt and aren't very confident. (You only heal if you actually save)

Kill Mundy. You must hit all 5 damage attacks in order to not lose time. To dodge the jars walk to a corner and move away from it when the jar starts moving, the drops go horizontal, vertical and diagonal from the point where the jar breaks. ALWAYS move for the bullet attack, use the Left override trick, dodge the bullets like normal.

You will meet Jane very soon, you may want to heal. You can use the save next to Mundy's tower or the save in Teufort up from the covered statue in case you forget before going into Mundy's van.

Kill Jane, all 5 damage required for optimal time again.

Dodging Jane's attacks: (All attacks are scripted, they will ALWAYS do the same) 1-Jump over; 2-Jump over; 3-Jump over the first 3 and under the rest; 4- Alternate between jumping over and under; 5-Jump between. Jump under the last attack without stopping holding down left; 6-Jump over and change directions mid-air to go under; 7-Jump over and change directions mid-air to go under, just hold left or right longer; 8-Alternate between jumping over and change directions mid-air and staying in the middle without moving. Go under and change directions mid-air for the last one. 9-Same.

9 should be the last attack if you hit all 5 damage.

Walk through the mines like normal, flee from battles.

First box puzzle: 1-Move the lowest box 4 times right, 1 down, 1 left, 3 down, 2 left; 2-Move either remaining box in the same locations as the first one.

Second box puzzle: 1-Move the 2 boxes closest to the goals all the way to the left. 2-Move the lowest box 1 up, 2 right, 1 down; 3-Move the last 2 boxes all the way to the left.

Heal before Tavish if you want, the battle and dodging is simple enough: Flee when not green. Walk away when Tavish colapses.

You are now in the hospital entrance, enter, skip the text BUT make sure to say no when Eli asks if you want to give him your number, otherwise he will call and slow you down.

First Laser Puzzle: 1-Walk as far as you can before the first blue laser hits you, wait for it to go behind you then walk foward; 2-Wait in front of the goo for the second blue laser to comeback and walk foward when it goes left again; 3-Wait at the end of the goo for the laser to go behind you then walk foward.

In the cooking mini-game do not try to catch ingredients, you can just go to the left and wait for it to end.

The Mercenaries are comming up, heal if you want to.

Hiring is faster and easier: 1-Distract ST3RM4, then prank him; 2-Encourage J4R; 3-Spam hire.

Dodge white as much as possible, if blue and orange are together then dodge everything, if not pick the easiest one to reach and move or stop.

Just all the text in the movie date sequence, the wire choosen does not matter.

Lasers will be comming up, if you do not feel confident, save.

The spy is blocking the way, mash space to interact as fast as possible, then skip text.

Second Laser Puzzle: 1- Wait for the first one to come, then go right as soon as it goes back. 2- Wait for the first one to go behind you and do the same with the second. 3- Wait for the third blue laser to come, DO NOT move immediatly after it goes back, wait half a second for the second laser to leave your area, then move along. 4- Wait for the third laser to go behind you and get as close to the goo as possible, once the forth laser is visibly behind you, move. 5- Ignore the button, we will not be comming back.

Spy is comming up, save if you want.

Spam hire, you cannot kill him right now, so focus on dodging.

Dodging: Spy is rather caothic, so remembering patterns is out the window, instead we will have to rely on reflexes. Move to the center line as much as possible, this will give you multiple escapes routes when a spycrab comes. Use your left and right keys to dodge spycrabs faster instead of waiting, always try to keep yourself in the center as much as possible though. You may have to get hit if all othe options are worse, choose the clearest line when going for damage control. Do not panic when you get hit, you can take 8, lots of room for error.

Dodge for 8 attacking turns (when there are spycrabs) and betray kill spy at the end of the fight.

Unskippable cutscene, enjoy the serenate I guess.

-----Rest of the guide is incomplete, only covers basics, will elaborate in the future-------

Kill Scout. Attack the dispenser and scout form, they're both vulnerable.

Kill Misha, try to hit 5 damage as much as possible, choose fight.

Re-open the game AFTER it fully closes, or lag appears.

Dodge pyro's attacks and attack at any opportunity. Spam space in the zone where fight appears after the last phase starts.

Stop the timer after fading back to the "overworld", where you fought Misha