Does anyone know how to restore the functionality on Windows 10 machines? There's no reason the game should run as poorly as it does on my PC.

Check this out: https://github.com/cheez3d/popcap-patches

What specifically does this github thing do and how do you install it? Because I'm pretty sure I'm having the same issues in the sense that turning 3D Acceleration off makes the game run significantly worse than with it.