I found a very simple way to speedrun under the new rule without sitting on a toilet the whole time. Here is how to make the apparatus.

First, make like a middle schooler and measure yourself. But you need the width not the length. It's just to make sure you get the right size tubing.

Next go to Lowe's, or Home Depot if you don't have one. Either should be fine. Go to the plumbing section and grab a dishwasher drain tube. It measures 1 1/4 inch diameter, should be good enough to fit most guys. It's a white opaque flexible ribbed tube, can't miss it. It cost me $10. They have smaller and bigger options if needed. You want a good fit.

Next part is in electrical. You need a 1 inch male terminal adapter. It's a little short gray tube with screw threads on one end. It's a dirt cheap part.

Also in electrical, pick up a roll of electrical tape. It sticks just good enough to hold, but doesn't really hurt that much to remove. It also will help with attaching if you use a different size tubing because it stretches really good.

Finally, you need a gallon of cheap regular water. Dump it on a thirsty plant outside you only need the jug.

Before you do anything, manscape. Trust me. Do it.

Now that you're prepped and you have all the things, screw the male adapter into the opening of the gallon jug. It should screw right in nice and tight like it was made for it. Next, cut the dishwasher tubing so that it's about the length of your arm. Take your tubing piece and jam the smooth end into the opening on the adapter. Same thing it should fit right in like it was made for it. If you've got a different size tube just use the electrical tape and make sure you wrap it really tight so that it's water tight.

You now have the apparatus. I'd recommend a small amount of lotion to help squeeze on in. Finally, use the electrical tape to make the final attachment secure so you don't have to keep readjusting it mid run. Place a pillow in the chair so you can have a little extra elevation. You want there to be some fall in the tube along the whole length or you'll have waste just hanging out in the tube, which wouldn't be so good.

You are now ready to do your run without sparing the slightest shred of a thought for using the bathroom. The whole setup cost me $15. It's also easily reusable, just dump it in a toilet and rinse it out with a hose outside and let it sit out to dry and it'll be ready for the next use. You're all welcome.

I have no idea how to make this work for the women speedrunners. I'm sorry. I honestly feel so bad for yall on that.