What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I finished first in the lightning cup of 150cc, and I’ve taken numerous secret shortcuts on Rainbow Road, and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in Donkey Kong warfare and I’m the top banana sniper in the entire Mario Kart online community. You are nothing to me but just another scrub. I will outlap the fuck out of you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this console, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with throwing that shell at me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the lightning bolt, maggot. The lightning bolt that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your second place. You’ve fucking lost, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can drift in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with analogue controls. Not only am I extensively trained in snaking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Mushroom Kingdom Toad Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the track, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little shell was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking L button. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking last, kiddo.